Rebecca had been trying for nearly five years to conceive when she decided to invest £12,000 of her savings into IVF treatment using donor sperm. Daily hormone injections to stimulate egg production were part of her routine, but despite all the effort, the IVF failed, leaving Rebecca devastated.
“I thought it would never happen,” Rebecca recalls. “I was absolutely heartbroken that it hadn’t worked.”
Feeling defeated, Rebecca turned to Bumble, hoping to find someone who would share her dreams of building a family. She wrote on her profile, “I’d love to have a family one day” and “I love walking in my spare time.” Within days, Dave Dean, a 40-year-old civil servant, messaged her. “He was tall with dark hair – gorgeous,” Rebecca says, remembering their first interaction.
Dave had three grown-up children, loved walks, and enjoyed relaxing at home. It seemed like the perfect match. Their first date was in Colchester, where they bonded over cheesy chips, cheesecake, and hot chocolate. “We both loved cheesy chips, cheesecake, and hot chocolate,” Rebecca laughs.
The couple quickly became close, and Rebecca shared her IVF journey with Dave. He admitted he wasn’t sure how he would feel about having IVF treatment if the baby wasn’t his, but despite the uncertainty, they continued to grow closer.
Six weeks into their relationship, something changed. “I felt strange. I thought maybe I’d picked up a bug, but I decided to take a pregnancy test just in case,” Rebecca remembers. Within minutes, the result was clear. She was pregnant.
Dave was supportive and told her not to worry, insisting they would stay together no matter what. Everyone was thrilled when they received the news, and their relationship grew stronger.
However, at 14 weeks, a blood test brought unexpected news. There was a 99% chance that the baby had Down’s syndrome. “We were both overcome with shock,” says Rebecca. But this was only the beginning. At the 20-week scan, doctors revealed that the baby also had tetralogy of Fallot, a congenital heart condition that involved four defects in her heart.
“They offered to terminate the pregnancy,” Rebecca recalls, “but there was no chance of that, and Dave agreed with me.” The couple remained determined to keep the baby, who would later be named Violet. Two weeks later, they found out they were expecting a baby girl, but the doctors warned that Violet might not survive the pregnancy, which added to the uncertainty and fear.
Seeking help and support, Rebecca and Dave contacted Tiny Tickers, a heart charity that provided invaluable advice and guidance during this challenging time. On March 8, 2023, Violet was born via cesarean at Colchester Hospital, four weeks premature and weighing 5lb 10oz.
When she was born, doctors quickly placed Violet on Rebecca’s shoulder before rushing her to the special-care baby unit. She needed oxygen to help her breathe. “Hours later, Dave helped me into a wheelchair and pushed me down the corridor,” Rebecca recalls. “We both had tears in our eyes. She was absolutely gorgeous, with a tuft of dark hair.”
Though Violet was diagnosed with Down’s syndrome, she showed remarkable strength. After a day on oxygen, she was taken off, and by day six, she was discharged from the hospital. The couple brought Violet home and began their life as a family.
The early days were not without challenges. Violet was diagnosed with a second heart condition, Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV), a rare defect where both the aorta and pulmonary artery connect to the right ventricle. At eight months old, Violet underwent a six-hour heart operation to correct the defects.
“Violet had a scar down her chest, and in the months that followed, she was in and out of the hospital with infections,” Rebecca says. “But after that, she thrived. By her second birthday, she was toddling.”
Now, Violet is a healthy and happy child, and Rebecca and Dave are incredibly proud of her. “She makes Dave and I so proud,” Rebecca says. “Never more so than when her photo appeared on a huge billboard in Times Square, New York, as part of a campaign for the National Down Syndrome Society.”
Reflecting on the unexpected journey, Rebecca says, “I’m just so grateful for the way things turned out. When my IVF failed, I never expected to meet Dave and have our beautiful daughter like this, all thanks to our Bumble date.” Dave adds, “I never expected things to move so quickly, but I wouldn’t change anything for the world. I love Rebecca and Violet to bits, and my three older children love having a little sister.”
Despite the hardships, the couple’s journey is a testament to resilience, love, and the unexpected miracles that life can bring. Violet’s story has inspired so many, and the family is excited for the future, cherishing each moment with their precious little girl.