On March 10th, Jess welcomed her precious daughter, Kiwa Louise Jane, into the world. Born at just 24+5 weeks, Kiwa’s arrival was far earlier than expected, the result of spontaneous preterm labor. Jess will never know exactly why her daughter arrived early, but it was clear that Kiwa was eager to meet her family. At only 670 grams, Kiwa was a tiny, fragile bundle, yet she was the most beautiful baby Jess had ever seen. She was her daughter, and that connection was instantaneous.
The first few weeks in the NICU were a whirlwind of emotions. Jess quickly learned that the journey through the NICU would be one of the most difficult things she would ever experience. The roller coaster ride of hope and heartbreak was constant, as Kiwa faced both triumphs and setbacks. Jess learned firsthand what it means to be a mother in a world that doesn’t always promise easy answers.
When Kiwa was just 11 days old, she faced an emergency operation for a perforated bowel. The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on Jess and her partner, but Kiwa, ever the fighter, came through the surgery and her subsequent recovery stronger than before. It was a turning point in their journey. Kiwa’s resilience became a testament to her strength, and Jess could not have been more proud of her little girl.
The operation meant that Kiwa had a stoma, and her doctors planned another procedure closer to her due date to close the bowel. The family moved between Middlemore and Auckland hospitals in the months that followed.
While the hospitals were not where they wanted to be, Jess was grateful for the loving support they had. Surrounded by family and the warmth of daily kangaroo cuddles and stories read to Kiwa, Jess and her partner found strength in the moments of tenderness that filled their days.
In late May, Kiwa reached a significant milestone: the closing of her stoma. The success of the surgery was another victory in Kiwa’s journey. For Jess and her family, it was a moment of relief, hope, and anticipation as they saw Kiwa continue to grow stronger. After a few weeks of recovery and adjusting to her feeding schedule, the family was able to return to Middlemore Hospital, closer to home, feeling like the hardest part was behind them.
But fate, as it often does, had other plans. On June 10th, Kiwa developed an infection known as NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis). It progressed rapidly, and in the early hours of the morning, Jess received the words no parent ever wants to hear: “I’m sorry, there is nothing more we can do.” The pain of those words remains etched in Jess’s mind forever. In that moment, her world shattered, and the dream of taking her baby home came to an abrupt and devastating end.
The loss of Kiwa was indescribable. The hopes of leaving the hospital with their daughter, seeing her grow up at home, had vanished. But Jess refuses to see their time together as a tragedy. In those three months with Kiwa, Jess found an immense amount of love and gratitude. While the time was short, it was incredibly special, and the journey—though heartbreakingly brief—taught her more than she ever thought possible.
In the months following Kiwa’s passing, Jess and her partner have carried their daughter’s memory in their hearts, and the ache of her absence will never go away. However, they have vowed to move forward, not in the sense of moving on, but in honoring Kiwa’s life and legacy.
Her memory will be kept alive through her name, her story, and the awareness Jess continues to raise about the challenges faced by families in the NICU. Though Kiwa’s life was short, it was full of love, and she made an indelible mark on the hearts of everyone who knew her.
Kiwa was a gift. She was loved, wanted, and cherished from the moment she was born. She was a little warrior who fought hard, and her story will continue to inspire those who hear it. Her memory lives on, not just in Jess’s heart, but in the stories shared by others, the conversations about the realities of NICU life, and in the awareness raised about premature births and the incredible strength of babies like Kiwa.